FRIENDS=LIFE

Good god i love my friends so much they r som crazy mother fuckers as i have written before but thats besides the point! They are some pretty amazing people weither you'd believe me or not i will always think this. they may have some issues and flaws but dont we all. We all have the same passion for music which is good... and we love to meet new people we can all be nice..... when we want... and tear a bitch down when we need to... we TRY to be pacifist but it NEVER works out right! well thats okay i guess we still try. so now imma talk about some of them

Tatiana: This gurl is my life i never thought i would be so close to a girl in 3 years.. through hell and great times.. we have always been friends even when i fucked up she was there so when she fucked up i was there... i use to walk everyday after school to this chicks house... when she cried i felt it and knew something was wrong and i would call her and i'd be right.. she thinks im weird but cuz i can sense these thinks... we have gotten so close that i can finish what she's saying and i know what she thinking... I would go to the end and back wid this chick... and its funny cuz when i first spot her she was quite and shit... and i thought BORING! but then she fussed out a teacher and i was like damn lil salvidorian chic got BALLS!!! and from there on we been friends and im so happy we are. We've been through alot and i know its not gonna end that easily so we keep going everyday planning this shit out! ily Mixed chicken<3

Zack: He is my raging homosexual! i love this kid! He is the person in my life that has helped me the most. Although i dont think he knows how grateful i am for having him around and how worried he makes me when he does stupid shit! But no matter what i will be here for him till the end. This boy has issue just as well as tatiana.. actually i think he fucked me up more than she did lol:) I use to and still am the smart kid who doesnt listen to teachers but reads books.. and still ace's the test that are given.... hell zack use to be like that... AT LEAST I STILL AM!! HA! ily zackie<3

Shaina: you are my sexy bitch! i dont know what to say bout you! u are amazing i love you so much and i just dont know what i would do without you! that shit i pulled along time ago i realize more than ever could have stoped us from being friends... but it didnt and im so happy for that. WOOT WOOT!! you my soccer chick! Beasty goaly and scoring person... you kick ass in karate and dont hesitate and i love you for that you know when things happens i will always be here for you and always have... more than i use to be and im happy for that! ily Shainer<3

Devllin: What can i say? Your my Stalker, Rapist, Ninja, Urban Ninja, and one crazy ass motha fucka thats on crack! i love you more than you know and im glad you will never read this! I wish you didnt disappoint me as much as you have done sometimes but i get over them i guess... i never tell you this.. but besides that you are the best Ninja ever! ily Stalker<3

Makaelah: This is my niggah, she has been wid me even when she didnt wanna listen to my shit my rambbling on about and how everything wasnt going right... we like the same guys you know that could bring problems but it never does. for that i am happy! ily Makala<3

Cailyn: Man, we go back my nigga! From you being my first true friend, to you not being in my class man that shit sucks and i dont know when we can ever hang besides when it comes to sports... you are my Softball buddy and that will never change no matter if we dont talk any more or not! but you one crazy girl... yea i know what you be doing out of school lol :P ily Softball buddy<3

I have alot more friends but these are the once that popped up in my mind first!!! these people are my heart! and im glad i have not lost them!

by and by i know i have a bad "potty mouth" but hey i hear 6 yr. olds who cuz more than me where i live!

self-mutilation

Since I have already talked bout stuff around this subject i would like to talk about self-mutilation. I'm going to try to explain it to people. It's seems like now more and more people mostly teenagers have been taking part in self-mutilation. When you do this it is basically just cutting yourself with anything you want.. some do it as punishment because in their head they think that they have done wrong to people and wont be forgiven.. and that feeling of not being forgiven is why they do it... i know some do it because they can get really stressed... or cant deal with things that go on in there life so they cut... its hard to explain but as they cut the stress, the things that have been hurting you over and over go away.. you don't think about them anymore.. your happy and you feel fine... its like the cut is a portal for all the problems and stress to just leave temporarily... It's a mental problem.. they say the conscious mind is being controlled by a monster who tells them to do it, that there is no other way. so The person begins to believe it. and they cut and cut away. You keep cutting, deeper, and deeper, every time thinking it will help you that much more. Eventually, they end up hurting themselves very badly to the point to they need to go to the hospital and some don't have that privilege to make it that far, they die before they can make it to the hospital. I have friends that cut, a couple actually, and they all do it for these reasons. I have gotten 2 to stop cutting and they have been free from it for a couple of months. The sad thing is its like a drug. They go through like some kind of rehab with me. It's all just so weird. I hate ignorant people that say someone is Emo, and i hate when people say someone who cuts is Emo. First off, there is no such things as Emo, from my point of view at least. Its stupid to stereotype. People just jump to conclusions all the time. You don't know what they are going through, they just dont have any other way to handle something things. The point of this post is to get people to notice that self-mutilation rates are going up especially in teens and to open peoples eyes to why a person may cut. It's not always because they hate there life, contrary to popular belief.

just my thoughts for today: )

How much is there really to do when you have friends that are fucked..
You laugh, play, joke around with them and go through hell with them...
Weither its drugs or cutting... or just plain out stupidity.. to see them overdose on pills to let the pain go away:( i thought i'd be ready i thought i could handle it but as i found out tonight i wasnt.... I cried myself half way to sleep but i still havent fully slept yet and its 4 O'clock. i will never be able to forget what i've seen today.. the effects of pills.. why they can fuck up a person so fast and they not be fully in control of what takes place... I am only 14 and for some reason in my mind i still shouldnt have to witness shit like this.. then again i shouldn't be cussing either but i guess its a life choose..so as I'm on the computer i think about things that have happened in my life and why others could have worst and how worst could it really be?? All the people who committed suicide why did they do it? Yet, no matter what reason i have never found myself saying it was stupid....cuz you just never know there situation... and if you had been that person if you can handle it? when your watching t.v. and a persons on a bridge do you ever think "Thats stupid" if so for once think why they could be doing it. Dont get me wrong i think suicide is a choose of course just will never be my choose. Try to understand the unexplainable, the unthinkable, and the unimaginable and light could be shown over this cold hard world we call "home".

wow

wow so today is my first time using this blogger thing and i dont know how to look at other peoples blog.... 3 hours later i click next blog......... and wat do you know i find out how to look at other peoples.... ugh wow i need help. i dont think people offer the type of help i need. : )